No further weight loss, in fact I gained a pound. My eating habits are essentially unchanged so I am working to identify why I have plateaued and if I am taking in some fast carbs without knowing it.
Total weight loss 8 pounds in 15 days
TIOT's twin
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
9 days in
So I am 9 days into changing my diet and with it hopefully my life.
As stated in a previous post, my goal is to lose 20 pounds.
What may be pertinent to review is how and why I am here as, for me, I feel its more than a new year desire to shed some pounds after an over indulgent holiday period.
When you reach certain points in your life (29 in my case...ahem) you tend to occasionally have a moment of realisation and reflect on things, at least I do and suspect the same of most folks.
An epiphany l believe they call it.
Or in my case a Harajuku Moment perhaps (google it or see The Four Hour Body book and you will see the connection). Though my HM is probably really several conjoined realisations than one crystal clear moment. Which is a concern as without an absolute moment of clarity I am uncertain I can make this stick.
That concern aside my moment(s) is defined by a dissatisfaction with who I am...if actions speak louder than words then a significant portion of my efforts run counter to what I want and who I think I am.
This is highlighted in my being/feeling very unfit, not being in control of my life (work, eating, health, happiness) and that I have become everything I knew I didn't want to be at school ... fat, working a desk job, grey and uninspired.
Though as I say, it was more a coalescing of events that began to weigh on me...my daughters 22 year old boyfriend dying of cancer, my mother no longer being able do anything for herself, renting a flat, the rut of work/eat/sleep and the hamster wheel nature of it, pension planning rather than living in the now, etc.
My dad passed away 6 years ago now and I thought then that was significant. A moment to grasp and know to recognise what matters in life rather than waste a lot if time in minutiae. I needed to value life and my time here as opposed to living day to day, hand to mouth, holiday to holiday. Make more of it all.
I think I have lost sight of that and all that I wanted to be.
So I don't like who I am or what I have become, not the essence of me or my.spirit but the physical manifestation of me
I need to change.
How do I do it, I don't know, there is no easy answer or path.
So my choice is to try focus on one thing at a time and see where it leads me. That way there is no confusion or multiple demands on my time...bar working and other normal aspects of life!
So my one goal, lose 20 pounds - weight or weight loss - is tied to my sense of self worth, bad eating habits, self confidence, a lever to move my health and fitness and a path.
So move this rock up the hill and perhaps I can identify other rocks and begin to put them in my backpack.
I am not staying I know if this will work or if I can achieve the goal but I must try as it's the candle in the forest. Move towards it and perhaps I can find a way out of the tangle. If I don't I am running out of time and I don't want to be running over these thoughts in 6 years time except perhaps to reflect on it being the time I changed my life.
Till the next time ... TIOT
PS As of today I have lost 9 pounds.
As stated in a previous post, my goal is to lose 20 pounds.
What may be pertinent to review is how and why I am here as, for me, I feel its more than a new year desire to shed some pounds after an over indulgent holiday period.
When you reach certain points in your life (29 in my case...ahem) you tend to occasionally have a moment of realisation and reflect on things, at least I do and suspect the same of most folks.
An epiphany l believe they call it.
Or in my case a Harajuku Moment perhaps (google it or see The Four Hour Body book and you will see the connection). Though my HM is probably really several conjoined realisations than one crystal clear moment. Which is a concern as without an absolute moment of clarity I am uncertain I can make this stick.
That concern aside my moment(s) is defined by a dissatisfaction with who I am...if actions speak louder than words then a significant portion of my efforts run counter to what I want and who I think I am.
This is highlighted in my being/feeling very unfit, not being in control of my life (work, eating, health, happiness) and that I have become everything I knew I didn't want to be at school ... fat, working a desk job, grey and uninspired.
Though as I say, it was more a coalescing of events that began to weigh on me...my daughters 22 year old boyfriend dying of cancer, my mother no longer being able do anything for herself, renting a flat, the rut of work/eat/sleep and the hamster wheel nature of it, pension planning rather than living in the now, etc.
My dad passed away 6 years ago now and I thought then that was significant. A moment to grasp and know to recognise what matters in life rather than waste a lot if time in minutiae. I needed to value life and my time here as opposed to living day to day, hand to mouth, holiday to holiday. Make more of it all.
I think I have lost sight of that and all that I wanted to be.
So I don't like who I am or what I have become, not the essence of me or my.spirit but the physical manifestation of me
I need to change.
How do I do it, I don't know, there is no easy answer or path.
So my choice is to try focus on one thing at a time and see where it leads me. That way there is no confusion or multiple demands on my time...bar working and other normal aspects of life!
So my one goal, lose 20 pounds - weight or weight loss - is tied to my sense of self worth, bad eating habits, self confidence, a lever to move my health and fitness and a path.
So move this rock up the hill and perhaps I can identify other rocks and begin to put them in my backpack.
I am not staying I know if this will work or if I can achieve the goal but I must try as it's the candle in the forest. Move towards it and perhaps I can find a way out of the tangle. If I don't I am running out of time and I don't want to be running over these thoughts in 6 years time except perhaps to reflect on it being the time I changed my life.
Till the next time ... TIOT
PS As of today I have lost 9 pounds.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Goal
What, what, what do I want to accomplish? Or perhaps that could be better expressed as how do I want to change my life, myself, my future?
If this is resolutions by any other name then its not going to work. With that in mind I'm going to pare it down to one goal to target. Once there I'll choose another, etc.
No idea if it will work but previous years multiple areas of (non) focus haven't either.
So my immediate goal is ... lose 20 pounds (1 stone 6 pounds). Starting from 246 (17 stone, 8 pounds).
The trick is also to do it and manage enough of a lifestyle change with it that means I can keep it off.
The choice of goal is also a platform. It will make me feel healthier, move me towards coming off medication and likely make me more confident. Plus provide me with access to a whole new (old) wardrobe!
So till the next time...hopefully lighter... TIOT
If this is resolutions by any other name then its not going to work. With that in mind I'm going to pare it down to one goal to target. Once there I'll choose another, etc.
No idea if it will work but previous years multiple areas of (non) focus haven't either.
So my immediate goal is ... lose 20 pounds (1 stone 6 pounds). Starting from 246 (17 stone, 8 pounds).
The trick is also to do it and manage enough of a lifestyle change with it that means I can keep it off.
The choice of goal is also a platform. It will make me feel healthier, move me towards coming off medication and likely make me more confident. Plus provide me with access to a whole new (old) wardrobe!
So till the next time...hopefully lighter... TIOT
Its now Feb 1st....
...and it feels like the new year is actually starting.
The blue aspects of January haven't been replaced but have at least receded a little and with that comes the desire to find something that makes life a little more vibrant, tolerable and focussed.
This may seem a glum summation of the year to date but its more meant to reflect the move from the heights of Christmas/New Year hedonism back to the day to day hamster wheel of existence that life can become. January is the restart of the annual process of goals, resolutions, realisations and reflection. And with it, the occasionally overwhelming feeling of being here before with not enough changing.
So this year needs to be different (as I say every year) but how to make it different. Everyone says to write things down whether blogging, goals, a diary or a journal. And to make goals public so you can be held accountable. None of these things are within my comfort zone and all the more reasons to do it I hear you say...so that's the plan...publish and be held accountable.
So now to come up with my goals.
Next post...Goals
TIOT out for now
The blue aspects of January haven't been replaced but have at least receded a little and with that comes the desire to find something that makes life a little more vibrant, tolerable and focussed.
This may seem a glum summation of the year to date but its more meant to reflect the move from the heights of Christmas/New Year hedonism back to the day to day hamster wheel of existence that life can become. January is the restart of the annual process of goals, resolutions, realisations and reflection. And with it, the occasionally overwhelming feeling of being here before with not enough changing.
So this year needs to be different (as I say every year) but how to make it different. Everyone says to write things down whether blogging, goals, a diary or a journal. And to make goals public so you can be held accountable. None of these things are within my comfort zone and all the more reasons to do it I hear you say...so that's the plan...publish and be held accountable.
So now to come up with my goals.
Next post...Goals
TIOT out for now
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